Welcome to my otherside....My useless thoughts

Just my ramblings about life, my work doing tech support for an isp, depression, and whatever else I feel like whining about. About the only time I sit down & write is when I'm feeling down. This is a venting for me usually they're feelings from the darkest part of my heart. So read on, enjoy and feel priviledged that I opened this window to my soul.

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

I am at work sitting here typing this between calls, am kinda in a funk today. I'm tired even though I went to bed early last night. I kept having weird dreams and waking up from them. I dreamt I cut my finger grinding something and while I was trying to stop it from bleeding, it was squirting out all over about 4 feet. When I got it to stop bleeding I looked and there was only a tiny scratch... while I was looking at it in disbelief my whole finger fell off and everyone was screaming and I woke up.

When I finally fell back asleep I had some freaky dream that I was cruising around in a friend's car with a few other people & he cut some guy off. THen the guy sped up beside us and yelled "Does .45 ACP mean anything to you?" He pulled out a pistol and pointed it at us and for some idiotic reason I started daring the guy to do something. From out of nowhere my bud pulls out what looks like a matte black Desert Eagle .50 cal and says "That's nothing!" He then took aim on the other driver and I yelled oh Shiiiiiii.... and woke up. I dunno why but the dream was both funny as hell and disturbing at the same time.

LOL I can never find a dream interpretation book that explains my dreams........... blah


Thursday, June 17, 2004

I'm not sure what is going on inside my head. One moment I am buzzing with excitement, my mind racing thinking of what I can do and what I want to do. My thoughts like a feather floating ever so graceful across the surface of sheltered pond. The next, my spirits sinking as swiftly a deserted ship scuttled in the black of night. Turning into confusion, ideas racing away like roaches scattering from the light. Almost as if my sanity is slipping away and reality is becoming a dream that I once lived. I think I need some time to get away on my own, time to visit memories past. This sounds so perverse but it is cleansing away as I am writing this. Sadly I must be going as it is time for me to leave, yet not in the eternal sense. Fear thee not for I am not about to let the life of my little one go unwatched.

I'm just goin' home from work.... YEAH BABY!


Wednesday, June 09, 2004

It's so good to be headache free
Oh happy joy woohoo yippee
In a good mood, oh yes I am
I think I want to type some spam
To send an ad into your mailbox
Wouldn't that be cunning like a fox
Fix your computer yes this I could
But only if the pay is good
Enough of this dribble and silly drat
Who do I think I am, the cat in the hat?
Starting to ramble, begining to rave
Alone at work just like a slave
I can't get the internet up
I can't get my mail
Oh shuddup and go to...
Hello my friends, goodbye for now
A laugh I would send, a hug I would bring
If someone would make these phones to not ring!


Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Throbbing, pulsing, pounding out of control
My temples are feeling like they are going to explode
The tension builds inside my shoulders and neck
My eyes closed into slits and vision obscured
The light stabbing through my corneas making me weep
My pulse sounding in my ear like a symphony of drums
I find myself wishing this pain would come to an end...


Boy oh boy what fun! I had been getting major errors on my computers and swapped out various parts troubleshooting trying to determine what the heck was going on. I tried 2 different hard drives, formatting, using Win98, Win2k & XP, etc. It was driving me crazy trying to figure out what was going on! So the other night I'm sitting there and I get some strange error and the damn thing froze completely before even fully displaying the error. I gave it the three fingered salute... nothing, manual shut down & tried to boot up..... and I hear "Your memory module is not installed properly or may be bad" The board has this built in diagnostics tool with a speaker that gives audible alert messages. THEN!! Poooooof! Out comes the magic smoke! Waaaaahhhh I hate the smell of burnt electrical components, but what I hated more at that moment was knowing I was going to have to replace some stuff and spend some cash. So after tearing everything apart, I went to Frye's Electronics! Ohhhh a shoppin I will go! Spendin all my dough! Blah... Bought a ECS AMD XP 2500+ and 512MB DDR 2700 for right around $200.
Not a bad deal at all. So things on the website are going kinda slow. I gotta get everything straightened out with my 'puter before I dive into workin on this again. I could use Jane's computer but then I'd have to install a bunch of stuff on there and then never use them after mine is back up. Anyone heard any good jokes? Ohhhh I've got one... Whats the retention rate for tech supt